When it comes to relationships, many people agree that “the older, the better” is what suits them. If you find yourself liking someone older than you, you don’t have to feel flustered. Older people can be quite attractive, and many people have a thing for thing for senior partners.
When you deal with people your age, you may find the following characteristics to be disturbing:
- They are not ambitious enough
- They’re not doing too well in their finances
- They still want to have fun at dating
- They don’t know what they want
It’s perfectly fine if you want more than these and an older person can truly offer you something better. However, before you proceed in that direction, you need to know the pros and cons involved. Here are some of the top advantages and disadvantages of liking someone older than you.
Pros
Experience in life
There is always something you can learn from your partner. They have made most of the mistakes you can possibly make and learned valuable lessons in several facets of life. They can spot problems from a mile and likely have the solution to a challenge you’re facing. They can sense when you’re spinning out of control and help bring you back to reality. That doesn’t mean you won’t make mistakes; instead, you will make few errors because you have someone by your side to offer you advice through the parts of life you’re yet to see.
Emotional maturity
Dating someone your age can be full of drama. They tend to pick offense at everything you do which may take some time to resolve. And they may also get jealous when they see you with another person. With someone older than you, you have no need for such worries. Your partner acknowledges you have a life outside the relationship and not only accommodates it but also supports it. Even when you have a whirlwind of emotions, you can be relieved that they would keep theirs in check which brings a lot of peace, harmony and stability to your relationship.
Financial security
An older partner is more financial buoyant than someone your age. There are no student loans to repay: they’re not sharing an apartment with roommates nor trying to find their feet. Instead, an older partner earns more and is financially disciplined regarding savings, spending and investing. An older person typically has a car, a house, and an established career or business. You can anticipate a financially secure future with them.
Endless romance
If you want real romance, an older partner has lots of it. From the many kisses to hugs, ‘baecations’ to soft-lit candles, all your romantic fantasies are bound to be fulfilled with them. There are no games of who is calling first or who apologizes first. An older partner is typically very considerate and less egoistic, so you can expect to have breakfast in bed, special treats and lots of love. They usually show love more than they say it.
Sexual experience
Since your partner is older than you, sometimes there’s a high chance they’re good in bed. When you date someone your age, the sexual activity is primarily based on trial and error. A typical older person has had more sex (and partners) which translates to lots of experience. They know their way around your body because they’ve had plenty of practice. Furthermore, an older person can teach you to be a better lover because they would put your sexual needs and desires ahead of theirs.
Full commitment
Are you tired of being in a relationship with people who are not fully committed? People in your age group may hesitate to commit fully to relationships. The reason could be that they see commitment as a big step they’re not ready to take, or they want to have more fun at dating and be single. An older partner usually has had enough fun and is ready to settle down with one person. You can sense their commitment when they initiate dates and make plans rather than let you do it alone.
Cons
Fixed approach to life
An older partner has typically formed their views and perspective of life. They have things they expect and things they don’t imagine happening. Some of these things may clash with yours, and you may have to do most of the adapting. An older partner has a definite way of doing things and may not welcome change as you might expect. They expect you to understand the things they’re accustomed to. For instance, don’t expect them to adjust to attending parties when they prefer to stay indoors.
Strong reactions from others
Dating someone older than you is likely to get you some looks and stares in public. If it stopped at that, it would have been an easy thing to handle, but there’s more. Your friends may ask some embarrassing questions or get annoyingly curious on how you met. You may even post photos with them on Facebook and get questions like “Who’s that old man beside you?” or “Is that your aunt?”
Meeting the family
Depending on your age and progress in life, there’s a good chance your parents may frown at your relationship with someone older. Nothing beats having your parents approve of your partner, but the age gap can cause some anxiety for you even before your partner gets to meet your parents. Most parents are hard to impress when it comes to approving who you date. If your parents are traditional and not very open-minded, this could pose a severe challenge for you.
Lots of history
No matter what you’ve done in all your dating life, you may never outdo them. They have a past that links to several people they’ve dated, their ex-spouse and kids (if they were previously married.) Aside from that, you won’t have many shared firsts like you would have with dating someone in their 20s.
Signs of an age difference
You would have very little time to enjoy a lot of things with them while they’re energetic. The older they grow, the more visible the signs of age difference. The wrinkles will appear, and they won’t be able to do things the way they use to do them. This may not be an issue for you to deal with but you will be confronted with the reality every day.
Condescending and controlling
They may occasionally get condescending in the way they talk or act. You may sense it when they’re giving you advice or correcting you. Furthermore, an older partner may be controlling because they feel they have the power in the relationship because of the age difference, plus their experience may make them think they own the exclusive rights to calling the shots.
