We all love to succeed at anything we do. But there’s no guarantee that everything we engage in would have a beautiful ending. This is why we analyze our goals before we chase them. It’s the same with a Long Distance Relationship (LDR). Before you begin a long distance relationship, you want to analyze your chances of staying in one and making it work. Sometimes, the reason behind a breakup is not circumstances but how we are wired.
An estimated 40 percent of LDRs end in a breakup. Keeping your enthusiasm aside to examine whether LDR is right for you is a smart move. A long-distance relationship can be quite tasking; can you meet the demand? If you’re on the fence about starting an LDR, here are some signs that show you’re not just cut out for it.
1. You have trust issues
Trust plays a vital role in the success of every relationship. But you need a stronger level of confidence when you are in a long-distance relationship. We all have a different approach to the issue of trust based on our personality and past experiences.
If you find it hard trusting people, a long distance relationship is probably not right for you. Trusting that someone you can’t see is faithful to you and is committed to the relationship is not easy. Doubts in relationships are worse when it comes to LDR as they can be intense and come from diverse sources. The last thing you want is imagining things that can drive your insane.
2. You need lots of attention
This does not refer to being clingy and annoying. Instead, it involves being a person that loves to communicate with your partner several times a day and spending quality time with them. For some people, that is how a great relationship ought to be. That’s just how they’re wired. If this is your style, you may need to stay away from long distance relationship.
It’s impossible seeing each other every day when you’re miles apart, and you may not get the quality attention you want. This may make the relationship look dull, and get you wondering if the relationship is worth keeping. Except you love your ‘me time’ and value independence, LDR may not work for you.
3. You need intimacy to feel connected
Intimacy is vital in every relationship. Being separated from your partner makes it difficult to feel connected to them on a deep level. If this is a big deal for you because you think being close to your partner is the basis for a relationship, LDR may not be your thing.
Ever heard of love languages? It’s the different ways we feel loved in a relationship. If physical touch is one of the crucial ways you feel loved, you’re at risk of feeling unloved in a long distance relationship. What’s worse is that you also risk of feeling unsatisfied because one of your basic emotional needs is unmet.
4. You don’t like phone calls – or texts
You need constant communication in a long distance relationship to make up for the space between you and your partner. But how possible is that if you hate digital communication? Since you can’t hang out in person, most of your dates will be over the phone or FaceTime.
Likewise, texts are vital as they help you stay in touch all through the day. If you find staring at your phone screen several times a day ridiculous because you have other things to do, LDR is not just right for you. You need to be an excellent communicator to make LDR work.
5. You expect perfections
It’s true that no one is perfect. This fact will stare at you often in long distance relationships. If you love everything to be perfect and expect your partner always to say and do the right thing, you are at risk of repeated disappointment. While accepting that things will not always be cool in a relationship, believing the same in an LDR can be difficult because of heightened expectations before a visit.
Not all visits will leave you with a stronger sense of intimacy. Your reunions may not always be fantastic. There may be some annoyance, frustration, and confusion. All these are part of the learning process. Short-distance relationships have all these, but LDR sometimes makes them look big.
6. You just started a new relationship
Every relationship needs quality time to build a strong foundation. A strong foundation is critical to the success of a long distance relationship. If you just started dating your partner, being separated for a while by distance is not right for you. There’s hardly any bond, intimacy, and trust between the two of you. Talking over the phone won’t build a good foundation, and absence of these essentialities may make LDR too hard for you.
Aside from the duration of your dating relationship, it’s also essential you consider whether the relationship is great and how serious it could potentially be.
7. You hate to travel
Phone calls, text messages, emails and Skype are all great, but they can never replace being with each other. No matter the distance, it’s advisable that you and your partner travel regularly to see each other. It makes for balanced inputs in the relationship and helps to compensate for the long time you stay apart.
Your partner may be willing to do all the travel, but you need to reciprocate the effort. Traveling a few times a year is essential to keep the fire of the relationship burning. So if you hate traveling, that may be a bad sign.
8. You don’t stay long in relationships
Compared to LDR, a short distance relationship is easy to maintain. There’s typically less pressure on the relationship than on LDR. If you have a problem staying in one relationship, long distance is not right for you. The weight of committing to a long distance relationship might be too much for you.