No matter how outgoing you may be, there’s a chance you may become shy or nervous around your crush. Being around someone you fancy and remaining yourself can be quite hard. The shyness is because you are unsure if they have the same feelings for you and you don’t know how to say it without scaring them away.
People who fancy someone can relate to how nervous they felt around them. For instance, you see them from a distance and your brain snaps instantly. Your heart rate increases but your mind fails to produce the appropriate words you should say. The butterflies in your tummy decide it’s time to move extra fast and you think the best thing to do is avoid them. If this describes you, you’re about to get some help so you can deal with the situation.
Here are some ways you can be confident around someone you fancy.
1. Groom yourself
There is a direct link between how you groom yourself and the level of confidence you have. We are often our best critics; so when you don’t look your best, and your crush shows up, it’s easy for you to feel shy and embarrassed around them. Grooming yourself is not to impress your crush but so you can feel good about yourself. When you take care of your physical appearance, your confidence will receive a boost.
You can groom yourself by paying attention to your hygiene, style your hair and wear nice cologne. Don’t forget to also wear neat and fitting clothes with colors that match. Just make sure you do whatever will help you look and feel good.
2. Prepare yourself mentally
Confidence is a state of mind. If your mind is not in a calm state, you won’t achieve much even if you try to fake it. To prepare yourself mentally, you must agree that you’re nervous. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about feeling nervous. You must remind yourself that feeling nervous doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not confident. We all get nervous when we try something new.
Additionally, make sure you remind yourself that your crush is a human which means they are imperfect too, so don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Rid yourself of the fear of rejection because it will only make you too careful and stifle your sense of freedom. Choose to not to think about it; instead, be yourself and have fun even if your crush is around.
3. Talk slowly and listen attentively
It’s easy to get carried away with the excitement that your crush is around such that you don’t notice the rising tempo of your speech. When you speak hurriedly, you risk saying something you may regret, or you may end up stammering at some point. Your listeners may not even understand your opinion because you’re not really trying to communicate but attract your crush’s attention and make an impression.
Rather than talk fast, take your time to explain your perspective calmly. A moderate speech rate indicates confidence and composure, and that’s exactly how you want your crush to view you. Better still, listen attentively to what they are saying and don’t try to interrupt them so they can express themselves better.
4. Make eye contact, smile and laugh
You may see your crush in the corridor or the parking lot and suddenly have no clue on how to react. It could even be at a social function or the gym. When you see them, don’t look away and try to move out of sight; instead, maintain eye contact with them for some seconds and smile.
Do you plan approaching your crush or you are already hanging out? It’s important that you don’t avoid their eyes; maintain eye contact and smile. Most people tend to be quiet and immobile when around someone they fancy which communicates they’re tensed. So while with your partner, feel free to laugh at anything you find funny or that amuses you – just don’t overdo it.
5. Have something to talk about
When you have topics to talk about, you will feel more confident around your crush. Since you’re bringing the topics for discussion, it means you’ve probably made efforts to expand your knowledge on them. Some of the best subjects you can talk about with your crush are related to their passions. People are more likely to participate in discussions that revolve round their interests.
So, find out something you have in common to have an idea what topics appeal to them. You can observe your crush for a few days and see what you can come up with. If that’s hard for you, the social media is there to help. Just head over to their page and see for yourself what interests them. Whatever you discover should be the basis of your conversation so you can quickly get along.
6. Ask questions and be honest
Being nervous or shy around your crush is usually because you don’t know them. If you want to be confident around them, you need to demystify their personality by asking questions. Questions help you understand them better and see them for who they really are, while building chemistry at the same time. Open-ended questions are ideal if you wish to receive detailed answers and keep the conversation going.
While you ask questions, be prepared to answer theirs too. You will do well to honestly answer their questions so you don’t have to be nervous around them whenever you remember you told them a lie. Honesty will keep you at ease so you can always be comfortable with their presence.
7. Take your time
Generally, things that last take time. Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship, time is essential for it to grow and become strong. So take your time and don’t be in a hurry with your crush. Trying to force things to happen has a way of ruining everything.
Allow things happen naturally between you and the person you fancy. It may take days or weeks but what matters is that your relationship with them develops naturally. Sure, you can flirt with them if you want to; just don’t go overboard with it.