Breakups can be heartbreaking. Ending a romantic relationship is usually painful because of the emotions, time and efforts invested in them. Only a few people can handle a crumbled relationship alone. Many people find it hard to heal from the hurts and move on, so they rely on rebound relationships to help them numb the pain.
What is a rebound relationship?
A rebound relationship is a short-term romance initiated shortly after a breakup. Such relationships are a mechanism for some heartbroken individuals to get over the incident and recover from the impact. A few rebound relationships may lead to something meaningful, but most times, they end within a few weeks or months (depending on how long it takes the heartbroken person to heal.)
A rebound relationship is generally not considered to be ideal because:
- It is premised on weakness and not on strength
- It covers the real problem with a temporary solution
- One of the partners is vulnerable which is bad for healthy relationships
- One of the partners is prone to psychological manipulation and emotional torture etc
So, are you in a rebound relationship? Here are seven signs you’re embarking on one.
1. The relationship moves at a warped speed
When you’re in a rebound relationship, it grows at an unbelievable pace. Within a few weeks, you are both talking for hours at a stretch and hanging out at every available opportunity. It may seem exciting, but the speed unnerves you because you have declared affections for each other without sensing a real connection.
While you are trying to adapt to the relationship, the speed suddenly drops – which you aren’t prepared for. The calls become less frequent and you barely see each other in a week. It’s as though their interest in you is on and off like a faucet. The reason for the warped speed is simple: they come around only when they are lonely and neglect you when they are happy.
2. They don’t introduce you to their inner circle
Generally, when people are in a relationship, they introduce their partner to their friends and family as a sign of commitment. The process is called “integration,” and it happens almost effortlessly. But no one else is aware of your relationship with them, and they want to keep it that way.
However, that doesn’t mean you don’t get to see one of their friends or family members, but they don’t think it’s important to introduce you to them. They are also not keen to meet your eager circle too. The reason is not far-fetched: they’re probably aware that the relationship is not headed anywhere and your closeness is temporal.
3. The relationship is mostly physical
The sexual chemistry between the two of you is through the roof. It may begin with little flirting, but it soon develops into full-blown sex sessions. They can barely get their hands off you, and the intimacy is intense. The intercourse maybe exciting, passionate and incredible, but you can’t define the relationship without sex.
It’s because they want to distract their mind from their ex by trying to connect with you. All other serious elements of a relationship are non-existent, and the future of your relationship is uncertain because they are unwilling to talk about it.
4. They are obsessed with their ex
You can spot their obsession as it reflects in several ways. First, they talk about their ex often than necessary. Somehow, their ex creeps up in any conversation you’re having. It could be a little worse if they compare you with their ex because they miss their ex and are indirectly projecting the traits of their ex to you. They could even be still friends with their ex and try to show up at places their ex would be.
It all points to the fact that they haven’t really let go. In fact, you can sense the likelihood that they would return to their ex if they have the opportunity. Their aim is to use you to get over their ex, which can be a long, torturous experience for you.
5. The breakup was recent
The duration since their breakup reveals the truth about your relationship. If they started associating with you only a few days or weeks after the breakup, it’s more likely that you’re their rebound. It’s as though they went straight from breakup into your arms. They may just be seeking emotional healing by getting close to you and nothing more.
The other side of the coin is if their last relationship was serious. Was it a committed long-term relationship? Such breakups could wreck anybody, and they need a rebound to help deal with the shock and pain.
6. They want to show you off to their ex
People who are still stuck/hung to their ex often try to send a message that they’re doing just fine without them. One of the ways they do that is to flaunt their new partner. The aim may be to make their ex jealous and come begging or to show that they’ve moved on. Either way, it suggests that they have emotional issues to deal with.
They could arrange for you to “accidentally” bump into their ex at a social function or get you to have lunch at their restaurant their ex-frequents. They could even take it to the social media and splash your pictures online to show that they’re happy. It’s all a smokescreen to hide their emotional hurt.
7. They love you for no reason
They may barely know you but are quick to announce you as “the one.” You might be cute, calm, amiable, and have every other pleasant quality people look for in potential partners. The problem is that they don’t know all these because you’ve been together for only a short while. Who truly falls in love with a stranger so fast?
Perhaps, their love could be convincing if you both formed an emotional connection after the relationship started. However, they are unwilling to hold any meaningful conversation and prefer intimacy for the large part of the time they’re with you. You don’t have to think too hard to realize that they’re in love with an image of you and not who you really are.