One of the most difficult things for a woman to handle is a moody man. One day he is sunny and bright, the next day he is growling and sullen like a bear with a sore head. And naturally, it’s all your fault! I seem to attract moody men, having lived with three in my life, so here are a few tips for how to deal with those horrible down days.
First, don’t address the problem of moodiness whilst he’s in the middle of a bad mood. It’s really painful, especially if hard words have been spoken, but confrontation now just won’t work. When he’s in a mood, you can probably do no right. So just act normally, get on with your own things, and stay largely out of his way until things improve. If you can get out of the house for the day, so much the better, but don’t storm out, however much you might feel like it. Just say, “Oh, I really need to visit my mother/go shopping/take the kids to the beach,” or whatever seems natural and won’t make him react even more badly.
When he comes around, and he will, wait for a good moment and then tell him you want to discuss those times when he feels down. Try to have that conversation on an adult to adult level; don’t baby him or act like a baby yourself. Say, for example, “I really get worried about those times when you are so down and unhappy. What can we do to make things better?” Try to keep the conversation about “us” not “you” or “me”. Questions like, “What is it I do to make you so unhappy?” are just asking for your partner to put the blame right on you where it feels the most comfortable for him, so avoid them.
If the moodiness is a new feature of his personality, it may be that he has something on his mind, or there may even be a physical or psychological cause. If you suspect the latter, then try to encourage him to get a medical checkup. Some medications and physical conditions have side effects which make a person depressed. Your doctor will be on the alert for these.
It may just be that moodiness is part of your partner’s personality. It’s up to you to decide whether the sunny days outweigh the cloudy ones.
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